Reflections on 6 Months of Marriage
A few days ago, Adam and I celebrated 6 months of marriage. I use the term “celebrated” loosely because we realized at about 8 pm on the evening of that it was in fact our six month anniversary. We looked at each other, smiling, and commented that we’d made it half a year and so far, so good.
In fact, our marriage is great so far. I know we’re just getting started and we have no idea what life has in store for us. I have no doubt that we’ll have our fair share of ups and downs; they’re as much a part of relationships as they are of life in general. For now, though, I want to reflect on how married life has been for Adam and I in the early stages and remember this special time in our lives where our little family consisted of just the two of us (and Chevy, of course). After all, things are about to change with the addition of our sweet babe this summer!
Marriage solidified our bond
When we got engaged, I didn’t think much would change. After all, we already lived together and shared a puppy. But, while it’s true that our day-to-day lives look about the same as they did pre-marriage, our relationship has gotten stronger. There are the tangible differences, like sharing a last name and a bank account, which in turn makes us feel like more of a team as we manage our finances and plan for our future.
There’s also an added sense of legitimacy I sense from people when I refer to Adam as my husband and he refers to me as his wife. Like it or not, society values married couples. I certainly don’t think it’s right if unmarried couples aren’t viewed the same way, but so far that has been my experience.
What I didn’t expect, however, were the intangible differences that come with being married. I now feel a sense of permanence and security that wasn’t there before. Of course, I know that we need to make an effort to maintain our marriage. However, being married brought with it this calming sense that we are in this together. He’s my person, through good and bad.
We communicate better
Admittedly, we both used to let things that bothered us fester. The act of getting married itself certainly didn’t fix our communication problems, but after a bit of reflection I think that after getting engaged we knew that we are a unit, for the long haul, which means that we need to be able to compromise and solve problems effectively. Of course, we’re far from perfect at this. I, for one, admit to holding grudges longer than is necessary. However, how we handle disagreements has improved dramatically because we’re learning how to share our feelings and talk things through.
You can love someone, even if you don't like them at every moment
No one likes arguments or disagreements, or even the minor annoyances that build up when you spend a lot of time with the same person – but they’re also inevitable from time to time. Fortunately, these aren’t (or shouldn’t be!) a reflection of the overall relationship. Adam may get on my nerves, just as I know I get on his occasionally, but those moments don’t impact the love and respect I have for him as my husband.
Ultimately, it comes down to honouring the choice you made on your wedding day. You choose to love and remain committed to that person day after day, when things are easy but also when they’re hard.
I truly enjoy being married
Marriage gets a bad reputation in pop culture, which I think is such a shame. The thing is, you get out of it what you put in. If you’re not making time for each other and making an effort to recognize your partner’s needs, of course you won’t be satisfied in your marriage. Again, we’re no experts and we have our fair share of disagreements. But, as we laid in bed one night not too long ago we both reflected that we genuinely enjoy being married. In part, that’s due to the points I mentioned above. It’s also due to the fact that we simply enjoy each other’s company.
I love you, Adam. Here's to many more years of love, adventure, and getting on each other's nerves!